When all else fails – find your inner king

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Life can be tough – and family relationships aren’t always what we wish. But there’s something positive to be done even when facing an insoluble problem.

Let me explain. Relationship breakdowns with close family members happen in most families at some time. I know I’ve experienced my share, with my parents and my children, not to mention with my ex as well as with my partner! Sometimes – mostly – there’s been something I could do to mend the break. The way back has meant apologising, or admitting I’d been unfair, or building bridges towards the person with hurt feelings. But that’s not always possible.

Some situations are just impossible to recovery, or not at this time. For example, a friend has told me of the breakdown of his relationship with his adult son and his partner – particularly with the partner. And she is now stopping him seeing his grandson. After many months of trying everything he could to retrieve things, he’s concluded that he can’t mend the relationships unless something else changes. It’s really sad, and painful.

It can feel like that’s the end, the unhappy end, of the story. But it’s not.

When there’s nothing I can do to mend things, I can choose another way. This is to shift my focus onto what I can be in the face of the sadness and pain. When I can’t change the situation using the skills of a lover or a warrior, the role of my inner Kingship is still open to me.This means accessing my highest self to rise above any feelings of unfairness, resentment or numbness. And then to allow myself to feel the love for my closest family that’s still there, and to live as much as I can in that love – alongside the pain. And wait in that place.

This path is open to you too. It calls on all your inner strength and resolve, and a willingness to feel the pain as well as rise above it. But in my experience it’s a much better course than the alternatives!

If and when, one day, things change – from your kingship you won’t be carrying unnecessary baggage of resentment or withdrawal. You’ll be ready then to meet again and start rebuilding.

 

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Men And Relationships