5 Steps to Improve your Home Life

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These 5 straightforward steps will make make an amazing difference to your life. They just require a courageous heart and a willingness to claim something even better for your relationship!

  1. Show her you love her in the way she likes best. Every woman (and man!) is different – for some this may be Middle aged couple dreamstime_xs_15251912giving her a small present, perhaps some flowers or something that makes her feel special. But that’s not right for all – my partner likes flowers but that’s not really significant for her. She feels special when I say I’d love us to go out to a café, feeling happiest when we spend a relaxed time together in a favourite place.

What touches your partner most? It may be that for her it’s about expressing your affection with words, or with touch – not as a prelude to sex but just for its own sake, to make her feel loved. Whatever it is, give her a real expression that you care.

  1. Let her in to your inner world – sit down and tell her you want to share how you’re feeling about something – other than your relationship itself – whether it’s really happy, confused, sad or low. It takes guts to admit and speak about your feelings – it can make you feel vulnerable but this isn’t weakness, it’s true strength to allow your partner in to dreamstime_xs_47559199places where you can be touched. This intimacy is likely to bring you closer.
  2. Ask her to tell you what’s going on in her world – something she’s not shared with you before. And then just listen, without needing to do anything about what she says – sit on your impulse to try and fix it, and just enjoy learning something new about her. She’ll feel heard and supported if you simply pay attention and understand how she’s feeling.
  3. Notice what disconnects you, and what you contribute to that. It’s all too easy to blame the other person – but it always takes two. In any situation which goes badly, there’s likely to be something you’re doing – or not doing – which contributes. We can’t ever make our partner change, we can only ever change things by changing what we think, say or do – which can then invite something different from them. If you admit your part, there’s much more chance she’ll admit hers and you can start doing it differently.dreamstime_xs_44555846
  4. Notice how things have been changing in your relationship, without clinging on to how it was before. All relationships are in a state of slow change – unless they’re changing fast! – and go through different stages. It’s natural that as we grow older and our partner grows and changes, the dynamic between us inevitable does too. Each stage has its own opportunities for joy, as well as things which need to be let go of.

The more you practice these 5 steps, the more improvement they’ll make!

Let me know your experience of how these steps help. If you want to know more about this, or about the coaching I offer to help men get more out of life and enjoy fulfilling relationships, you can comment here or contact me at simon@menandrelationships.co.uk

 

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